50th!

My 50th blogpost! Should be about something happy, like a job well done, a beautiful observation or an interesting lesson. Whats happy and happening today is the ability as well as the will to be all by myself. The dependence on factors is reducing. Calls for a celebration innit? Soft good music is the such a partner. Learning is awaiting my acknowledgement. The time has come when i give it some attention.

Sombre!

Life seems to be going nowhere..so unhappy today! Just a week ago, was so thrilled...felt so lovely! Today it feels like such a waste. Boredom is seeping in like never before..not peripherally grim. It seems like somewhere real deep inside.

Whats missing is a question I have to answer. Don't have an answer. life at own terms is a luxury which ive been enjoying for a great amount of time now. Wonder why whats making me so gruesome.

Take me away, to a secret place, Take me away, A sweet escape, Take me away, To better days, Take me away, to a hiding place!

Lots of talk

An opportune day to write! Lots of talk around. Everyone seems to be asking me one important single question. (Its imp coz I choose to give it importance, I know many who don’t waste their energy on such things). I don’t want to answer. Not an escapist by nature, turning into one looks like. Can see slight insecurity also creeping in. How does a woman full of herself like me feel like that?

Two days leave starting from tonight. Would be fun. If not, would at least look like fun. Loneliness is a state of mind, so is happiness. Life is not an enigma for me at the moment. I know whats happening with me. I know why its happening. I know how I can help it.

Earnings are times when I realise what I am capable of. Bad earnings these have been for me. I am distracted, in a fix, making mistakes which would cost me a deal (dread to even think abt that) and wanting to run away. Lesson learnt is a golden one. Professional life should be bereft of anything happening in one’s personal space. Forget about home, the minute you step out to catch your train.

Long nights are meant to ponder on all that’s gone, all that’s missed and all that one wouldn’t let happen again. Need a hug from my sisters. They sure would be proud of me at the moment. So much of it inside me, will remain there. Lets see who will be able to unlock it.

I think of water so many times in a day. I guess I should just join a club for a nice swim in the morning. Would help my water cravings!

Just gonna stand there & watch!

On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. Then this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised. Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes. But you’ll always be my hero, even though you’ve lost your mind.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there & hear me cry. But that’s all right because I love the way you lie.

In this tug of war, you’ll always win even when I’m right cause you feed me fables from your hand and it’s sick that all these battlesare what keeps me satisfied So maybe I’m a masochist, I try to run but I don’t wanna ever leave, till the walls are going up in smoke with all our memories

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, But that’s all right because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry. But that’s all right because I love the way you lie.

Truth

Truth. A breathtaking virtue. I beleive in it? yes. I opt to say it? yes. I have the heart to hear it? yes. I have the courage to accept it? sometimes. It perturbs me? sometimes. I wish it was otherwise? sometimes.

2011

Its the new year 2011. Its taking time for me to write that. :)
Subtle. Smart & Stunning i want to be this year! Knowledge and wisdom are to rule. And the road ahead would be enlightening, enchanting! May people i love get all & more of what they desire & need. Such would be my happiness. :) Looking forward..

YEAR ENDDD!

Really feel like writing today! From the very morning. So much so much on my mind. One to another to another. :) I am becoming more adamant my the day! Yes, thats true...its not good but true.The new year week-end is not thrilling my senses. Is it this city, or my work schedule or the company? i wonder..i'll do some jazz and wrap up this ultimatley intriguing, fascinating year, which turned my life up, down and then up again..! Ahh! i remember the beginning of this year, a year ago! And that beginning was one of its kinds. Started with confusion and more confusion and untimely collapse reverberating in a loop. Looks like its time to break that loop, to live my life with more peace.What the hell, at 22, i can't get a soundless sleep! Something or the other always on my mind. I am going to start smiling myself to sleep. Tomorrow's worries should belong there. And that should be my tentative resolution..:) I like it right now. Its exciting and i know there is so much to learn that i am grasping for breath! Will I be able to contain so much, will be unleashed in this 2012. Exhausting is as miserable as giving up. Guess i will try to consciously not exhaust. Lets see.I am being lazy. But being active wouldn't help either way. So i guess moderation is the key. Another resolution.This year has taught me some very big lessons. I think i can endure a deal, obviously with my pillars by my side. They are there, sooner or later and i love them. All i need now is a giant hug. A new year hug maybe. I guess i'll receive it via telephony. I want to see my mother and i am assuming i am going to make papa proud this coming year. So many hopes, aspirations, wants, wishes & expectations..Was I talking about living my life more peacefully!!!